


Steven Universe: A Tale of Two Homeworlds

by Nicholas32704



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Muscles, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicholas32704/pseuds/Nicholas32704
Summary: I made an AI write a Steven Universe fanfiction and this was the result.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Steven Universe: A Tale of Two Homeworlds

**Author's Note:**

> Muscles

"Where is the bones!?"

Tyrone Bustaleg pounded his fist on the table, the table splitting in half because he was white. His glasses, solid black aside from the actual glass which was tinted pink, fell off his nose, or in his case lackthereof. His ill-fitting tuxedo ripped from the backside, his shoulderblades literally protruding from the underweight wasteland that was his back.

His business associate, a flamboyant druglord (dressed the way you'd imagine a druglord looking like, it really doesn't matter) named Mista GG, patiently waited for Tyrone's meltdown to cease before responding.

For you see, Tyrone was pissed.

"Tyrone, my guy, you seem pissed."

"I am pissed."

See? Tyrone was pissed. I told you.

The two sat in awkward silence before one of Mista GG's slaves from Gem Homeworld entered offering a fresh ice cold glass of Chocolate Water.

" " sung Mista GG before shooting the slave in the face, poofing her instantly. Sad, too, because that chocolate had perfectly good water in it.

"Anyways Paul, how come you be actin so crazy, brah?" asked GG, now practicing a Will Smith accent.

"I forgot to get wonderbread from Walmart before moving to Homeworld," replied Tyrone "Paul" Bustaleg.

"Oh-"

Before the two could reply any more, the crystal gems crashed the party in style.

"We are the crystal gems" said the crystal gems. "and your legs are now bones."

"Our legs may be bones," said GG, pulling a shotgun out of his spongebob squarepants underwear, accidentally shooting his dick off in the process. "But your legs are made of muscle, and muscles helps _nobody_."

Bismuth instantly proved Mista GG wrong by kicking him in the manboobs with all her lion-like strength. GG's discombobulated heart sung the song of a thousand sung songs and combusted, roasting his internal organs, killing him instantly.

"Keep the stove on..." he said before collapsing on the floor, now made of frosting.

Tyrone Bustaleg attempted to jump on his desk, but tripped on his Lapis Lazuli Funko POP!s before falling back down. The desk fell on top of his broken frosting-covered shoulder blades, but not his back because his back was muscles and muscles helps _nobody_.

Lapis was about to grab Mista GG's gun when Mista GG suddenly ressurected. "YOU THICC BITCH" he whined. "YA BLUE ASS TURNED THE STOVE ON, SMEGMA-FRYER. I AM THE _BARBEQUE_ NOW, HEE HEE HOO."

"You seem to be forgetting something" chimed in Garnet. "Barbeque is made out of meat. Muscles is made out of meat. Muscles helps _nobody_."

"I don't have to _help_ you." said Mista GG, shooting his business partner in the bones, killing his muscles. "I can help your _friend_!"

Tyrone revived himself, now growing dreadlocks to whip the gems in the hair. The gems now also have dreadlocks.

"Wait, what do you mean our friend?" shouted Pearl, even though she was 2 inches from Mista GG.

"I mean..." GG started to respond. "That Tyrone is actually none other than _SANS_!"

Suddenly Tyrone shed his skin, revealing nothing but bones, because muscles helps _nobody_.

**Author's Note:**

> helps *nobody*.


End file.
